Health?

If this is what it means to be healthy, no wonder so few people do it. It's really obnoxious. And it's hard to concentrate when you're hungry all the time.

I started doing a calorie counting website, www.myfitnesspal.com, which says I should eat about 1,230 calories a day. That's half what the middle school health teacher said we should eat in a day, plus a bag of chips or a brownie or something. Like, half of what the world told me I could eat. So now, I'm adjusting to low-feeding levels. And it sucks. Because I get kind of hungry.

I guess it's because my body got so used to consuming too much food it began to expect a feast every day. Now that I'm giving it its real requirement, it's angry at me. It wants sandwiches. It wants cake. But it can no longer have sandwiches and cake. It can have only cream of wheat and tears.

Now, before all two of you guys reading this start to worry, I'm not on some anorexic crash course diet to try to lose weight because I hate myself and want to look like a vapid Victoria's Secret model. My body, though unique, is fine. And I realize that even if I hated my body, like I used to, losing weight wouldn't help me love it. Back when I hated my body, I hated it just as much when I was 112 pounds as when I was 155. I have to love my body unconditionally or not at all. I have to love it whether everyone likes it or no one does. Otherwise I'll be miserable again.

No, this calorie counter came from a pure, innocent place. I was catsitting at my father's fiance's apartment when I realized I literally could not stop eating her Reese's Cups. Like, actually couldn't stop. I couldn't overcome the temptation. And then I got to thinking about things I've heard about sugar, and how it can be just as addicting as alcohol or benedril or Gilmore Girls (don't quote me on this.) And I realized that I, Alison Maney, am addicted to sugar. A glucosaholic. I recalled times in my youth when I could easily turn down cookies and candy, realizing I didn't need them or didn't really want them. Now, when I see sweets, I must eat them. And that's no good. Society usually discourages dependency on a substance. My substance of choice just happened to be legal. And super available.

So I figured, why not use this website to track my sugar intake? When I have to write out every doughnut hole in the food log, I'll gain incentive to turn down sugar. To my surprise, I learned lent was mere days away, and took it as a sign that I should give up sugary sweets for the sake of myself and God. (Except for on Sundays, obviously.)

Problem is, when I typed in my statistics, it turned out my recommended calorie intake was way lower than expected. Not wanting the website to blast me with red warnings for every calorie that overstepped the limit, I decided to try to keep myself in the recommended calorie range. It's been about a week now, and now I'm sitting on my bed in my underwear too distracted by my hunger to write about anything else. I guess I'll tell you guys about my awesome weekend next time. I'm off to the gym.