Celebrity

Not many of my friends know this about me (or maybe they do and I hide it poorly): I love celebrity ladies. So much. I love their pretty clothes, their confidence, and their sexiness. I'll reblog their pictures on tumblr, keep up with their clubbing outfits, and always watch their new music videos (you know, if they're singers.)   

I would call my celebrity love a guilty pleasure, but that would suggest I'm ashamed of my billions of girl crushes.

I guess it stems from my obsession with the female form. I think all bodies are absolutely beautiful - I browse body positive tumblrs for hours, looking at thousands of unique female forms. I love how each one is different. I love the sizes and falls of breasts, the rolls or flat plane of each stomach. On legs I love dimples and muscle lines both. And I have yet to find a face not worth admiring. Which contributes in a big way to my confusion when I see that most guys pursue "the ideal," and feel that if anything about a woman is not "ideal" she deserves to be ridiculed. I've met one or two guys who don't seem to believe that (guys who love individual girls as whole people instead of making each potential mate a checklist of physical traits,) but these guys are few and far between.

But, I already talked about that in a past post. I assume whoever's reading this already knows how baffled I am about how men seem to upgrade their women like cars. I need to stop talking about this. My three loyal readers will get bored.

Anyway. Celebrities. Celebrities are glamorous, celebrities are fancy. But many times, people feel the need to put celebrities down. Maybe it's because celebrities are more like fictional characters than human beings. Maybe it's because we find them unworthy of their positions of power. Maybe it's because we're jealous because they will be mourned by millions when they die, while we will only be remembered by a select few. I don't know why we do it. I know I'm guilty of putting celebrities down as well (goodness knows I've said some unflattering things about Kim Kardashian's voice.) But there are a few put-downs that I just don't understand.

1) Adele is fat.

Adele is not fat. Adele appears to be a healthy weight for her body type. I had heard about Adele before I saw her - I had heard the nasty comments about her weight, and heard admirers mention Adele's "weight problem" begrudgingly. So imagine my surprise when I saw a young woman with a fairly small, very defined waist, gorgeous round hips and breasts, and medium-thick thighs.

I'm not sure what my informants were talking about. Perhaps these people live in some town that survives on a stock of celery and wheat grass, where 150 lbs ladies are considered monstrously overweight. But I live in a world where many gorgeous, desirable women reach much, much higher numbers on the scale.

But "fatness" is subjective.

So, then, what if, in your opinion, Adele is "fat"? Certainly she's not unhealthily so. I'd say her smoking poses much more of a risk to her health than her extra pounds. But still, what of it? It's her body. We don't get to dictate what she puts into it. We don't get to dictate what body size is "correct" for anyone other than ourselves.

And if Adele is indeed fat, what a positive influence for the children! For little girls to believe their body type won't define their "success" in life - that's huge (no pun intended.) That's what we want.

Whatever.

2) Sarah Jessica Parker is ugly.

She looks like a regular person.

But, hey, let's assume she is ugly. If that's the case, we should be kissing her feet. This girl is the chosen one. She beat the system. She proved ladies can become ridiculously successful and attractive to other ridiculously successful people on personality alone. Heck, she proved that an ugly girl can make an ENTIRE nation go bananas for her for an entire decade.

This woman dated THE Robert Downey Jr. You know, the sex symbol. He was in love with her in the craziest way. If that was all personality and no looks... damn. This girl must have the personality of Jesus himself. Or Jack Nicholson.

Then, she married Farris Bueller. You know, the guy you had a crush on as a kid. Matthew Broderick. A shorter-term sex symbol, but a sex symbol nonetheless. AND crazy talented, with zillions of dollars that could buy him any perfect lady on the Hollywood circuit. But no, he wanted SJP. And still does.

But heck if she needs any Broderick money. She was America's It girl from 1998-2004. Heck, some might argue she never lost her It girl status. If we, the American public, chose Sarah Jessica Parker as our It girl solely on a personality basis, with full knowledge of her hideous ugliness... then we're really good people. We don't need looks. We want SJP. We want bubbly relatability, no matter what the package. We want a woman who produces her own ridiculously popular television show, no matter her genetics. We're no shallow television viewing public - we're a bunch of people who care about what's inside, about character. Not about outward appearances.

That is, if Sarah Jessica Parker is actually ugly.

Maybe she's actually alright looking. Maybe she's a decent looking female with an unconventional but attractive face. Most likely, right?

But, now that I look at it, it seems better for us if Sarah Jessica Parker actually is ugly - it certainly says better things about our society.

If SJP is actually hideous, it certainly gives me hope.