As one or two of you (by which I mean all of you) already know, I'm spending this summer in New York, partly because I have to take a class and partly because after a few weeks Little Rocky Run starts to resemble both the neighborhood in Edward Scissorhands and a black hole. Now that I'm an adult with legitimate clips on my resume, it's time I started doing adult things like working for actual pay. I have an interview with Sunglasses Hut tomorrow.

I'm doing some other adult things too. For instance, today I made a cucumber-onion-avocado-tomato salad I found on Punchfork. I'm starting to make vegan dishes, not because I'm becoming a vegan but because I'm living in 10's New York, of course. When people reminisce about this time period, they're going to remember how vegan was in fashion just like lowfat was in fashion in the 90's. I don't want to miss out. And I figured, if I'm not going to give up burgers and other animals while I'm out, I can trick myself into getting the nutritional benefits of veganism by only teaching myself vegan recepies. When that's all I know how to make, I'll have no choice but to eat shittons of vegetables and tofu. And anyway, my adult palate has become to refined for a diet of only brownies and macaroni and cheese. I'm becoming one of those losers who says, "Oh, fruit!" at the buffet table. 

But don't confuse this with an actual interest in my nutrition. I'm not that grown-up yet. I don't know if I'll ever be grown up enough to eat foods I hate for their nutritional value or not eat foods I love because they're bad for me. Cupcakes make life worth living.

Also, now that I got my NYU ID back in a overnight express package from my mother after I left it in my backpack and came to New York without it and had to explain to the security guard that I actually did have a class in this building and am in fact a student here, I can go to the gym in the mornings before class. This is good news, because I'm testing out a theory: For a long time, I've looked at fitness magazines and figured that if they actually worked, one would only need one issue to "slim down," as they say. It seemed like a poor business model, with the success of the magazine relying on the failure of their readers to actually do what was in the magazine. I realize that's a cynical way of looking at it - maybe some women like to update their fitness routine each month - but I thought it might be fun to test that theory. So I cut all the exercises out of the May 2012 Shape magazine (and all the pictures of Mariah Carey to put on my wall when my Dad and his fiance Kristin move into their new place where I'll be living for the summer) and I'll take them with me. I'll follow their exercise routines. We'll see if they work. Also, we'll see if I stay with them once the workload picks up in class and I obtain a job that requires me to spend a lot of my time, you know, working.

Besides, I'm not so interested in losing weight as becoming strong enough to crush my enemies' heads like watermelon. I'm a little worried about traveling in Europe without some sort of plan in case I come across a rogue pack of bandits or Frenchmen or Polish Samurai or something. I figure that if I walk around looking just a little bit more like the Hulk, I'll be an unlikely target for pickpockets or swordsmen.